contaminated

This blog is contaminated
sometimes when i want to write
i will think
will i hurt anyone writing like this?
then i will think
r they gonna find out wat i mean?
am i using da right word?
am i leaking out my secret?
that's why my blog is getting shorter
and shorter
scared to be seen through
scared to let ppl know how soft r u
scared to let ppl know ur world
u will never know who else view ur blog
view already keep silent act like nothing happen
actually they know wat's happening
now only i know
y some of my frens hide their blog
da only thing i will write in my blog will be
some frustration and dissatisfaction
personal stuffs...
i will prefer like the old days
diary...
the reason to post up in blogs
is to update my fren wat happen to me recently
hoping for their comment
at least i know they care
it has become some kind of bond to stick us together
but there are really a lot of things to write
its juz dat i've forgotten
how to write
my diary full of dust
may be i should go back to the old way..
i don even feel secure with my diary
in my diary i cant even fully express myself
i only can write on many pieces of papers
until my fingers pain
then i tear it and throw it into the dustbin outside
now u know how much i need to do
to protect myself
nobody is gonna enter my world
nobody is gonna fully understand me
except me
and only me...