mushroom war

Jobless for almost a week already
before dat school holiday
went back to school sometime juz to help
not really work also
so all add up is already 2 months doing nothing
my mushroom is getting bigger n bigger
how long is this gonna b?
cny is around the corner
for the 1st time i hate new year song
its like the voices of devil
it sound like "so now where r u working?"
its kinda of pressure for me
wanna do part time job as promoter but mom resist
y izzit so hard to get a job
y izzit a degree holder cant be a promoter
wats so wrong wif the job
plus its juz a part time
i know they wan the best for me
n this really give me a lot of pressure
my capability is not as good as u think
i m not as great as u think
but in order not to let them down
i try my f@#$%^& best
may b its juz not my THING
may b i was born to be normal
may b i was born to take up easy job
but still i wanna experiment new thing
but still i m curious
but still i like challenges

WAR is happening inside me
it is burning inside n instead of exploding
it burnt my brain until now...
i m insane